TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
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TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?
CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!
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TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile"?
JOHN: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
JOHN: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
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TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
SARAH: "HIJKLMNO"!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
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TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!

TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?

CLASS: George! 
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TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't
have ten years ago.
WILLY: Me!
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TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you are.
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SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.
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TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
ELLEN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
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Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
Johnny : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day same time."
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Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry
tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
Johnny : "Because George still had the axe in his hand."
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Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
Sam : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
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Teacher: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his?
Desmond: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
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Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Pupil : A teacher.

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