The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby
English will be the official language of the EU rather than German,
which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a  
5 year phase-in plan that would be known as 'EuroEnglish.'

In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'.  Sertainly, this
will make the sivil servants jump with joy.  The hard 'c'; will be
dropped in favour of the 'k.'  This should klear up konfusion and  
keyboards kan have 1 less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with the 'f.'  This will make words
like 'fotograf' 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to reach the stage where more komplicated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have  
always ben a horor to akurate speling.  Also, al wil agre that the  
mes of the silent 'e'-s in the language is disgrasful, and they  
should go away.

By the 4th yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing the
'th' with 'z' and 'w'  with 'v.'  During ze fifz yar, ze unesesary 'o'
kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and similar changes vud of  
kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yar, ve vil hav a sensibl riten styl.  Zer vil be no mor
trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu undertand ech ozer.
ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!!

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